It's weird how something that seems like such a comfort and security blanket can be your worst nightmare. I have skin picked hours every night because in a way it felt like it was always there for me and I was in control...but in reality I was not in control at all....skin picking is not a friend and even tho it might feel amazing at the time (and yes I know how weird that sounds if someone reads this that doesn't have it) but to us it feels good. Then after we are left with the shame and embarrassment and hurt that follows. I started picking my lip when I was around 10 years old and I started picking my face every night for hours when I was 17 until a few months ago. It has been over 6 years that I have damaged and hurt myself hours every night...until recently...I wish I could say there was some epiphany or something I read or heard that finally "clicked" but it wasn't like that. I always knew what I needed to do but in a way deep down I was scared and not ready...I have spent so much time doing this to myself over the past few years and have missed opportunities that I came to the realization that ME and only ME can live the life I want and stop skin picking and putting myself down and even at the time I didn't realize it...that in self was my "epiphany". I still struggle some days but I have gotten to a point where I know what I need to do and the emotions I will feel and even tho I might feel scared, angry, sad, or have anxiety thats OKAY. I have to learn to accept the feelings...the GOOD and the BAD and not hurt myself in the process...I know this disease isn't my fault but I also know and have realize that even tho it seems like I have no control and the urge is too powerful..I need to tell myself I AM IN CONTROL and it might fix things or make me feel better while I'm doing it, but in the long run it makes everything worse! If you are going thru the same thing or have the same awful disease, I want you to know you are NOT ALONE. We can become in control and we have to take it day by day and even if we have set backs we need to not GIVE UP..you are not crazy or alone and you can do it. xoxo
A few months ago after a bad episode of picking
A month later when my face is healing
After many years...finally feeling like I'm in control and my face is clear :)
Wow. U are so pretty with a clear face! I thinkive started picking...im already 29! My face is bad right now.
ReplyDeleteI know the ashamed feeling well! I'm 24 and have picked since I was 14. My face is scarred to bits. I am having a particularly bad spell right now so haven't been out at the weekend for over 2 months. I just can't face it. My friends don't understand why I do it..why would they. Even I think it's insane. I can sit in front of the mirror for hours literally picking holes in my face and then cry for weeks with the after affects. Not that the scabs will deter me from picking it further every night. I have only just realised that dermotillomania is what I have, I thought I was nuts. Time to try and get in control. It's nice to see that I'm not alone. Thanks for your blog it gives me a wee bit of hope.
ReplyDeleteIts inspiring to see your video on Dermatillomania. I just wanted to say thank you for all the help. I was curious.... I have been able to control my picking a lot better now, but what have you done after the picking stops with all the scars? Im having trouble getting rid of them and the marks I made. I really want to stop wearing make up fully, but don't know how to get rid of all the scars I've made. If you have tips or things you tried that worked please please make a video. Thanks again for everything <3
ReplyDeleteLadies -- take this from someone who struggles w this every day too: try 'pixi adaptable beige concealer' you can buy it at target or online. It will literally cover up anything it's amazing:) much love
ReplyDeleteI am just seeing your video on skin picking for the first time, as I am a 40+ yr old, Mother of 2, who has battled skin picking for the past 3 yrs or so. I had no idea there was even a disorder that described all of the horrible things I have been doing to my face. I watched your video and you did such an amazing job of sharing your story, being so truthful about what you were battling and making yourself so vulnerable for the world to see. I so admire your courage to put this out there. It helped me better understand and accept myself. It completely takes away your self confidence, self worth and belief in your own abilities. While I am now 3 weeks in to not picking, the scars on my skin barely begin to even tell the damage I have done to myself, and my marriage. I have lost the greatest man because he just couldn't handle me hurting myself like this anymore. It is a horrible disorder, and if you don't suffer from it, you truly can't understand why it is we can do this to ourselves. I just hope I can behin to heal emotionally, as I have physically. I hope you know that your video is amazing and made a huge impact on me. Best of luck to you and thank you so much for having the courage to put this out there!!
ReplyDeleteJennifer M
Austin, TX
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